My Comments, On Your Comments…

I am so blessed.  Thank you for your comments today.  Thank you for praying.  Thank you for sharing your stories.  Confirming to me that I am trying to do the right thing here... I have tears... I am so blessed.

Let me tell you the rest of this story now... at least the part I know.

I called a friend.  Ended up talking about HSSH.  Ended up with her telling me I should have called him to tell him about James' broken leg.  I was frustrated.

Called another friend. Told her what the first friend said.  She said she thought I should tell HSSH about the broken leg too.

Really frustrated.  Why am I the one that has to call him!  If he had come to the game, or even called about the game, he would know!!  URG.

Yet, I prayed that IF I was wrong.  I would be convicted. 

I was bothered by it all day. 

I finally called yet another friend.  "Please let me vent to you and tell me what you think of this!"  I told her.

So, I did.

She started laughing.

She had felt when she heard my story about what happened with missing church and the internet sermon, that I really needed to call HSSH.  And James leg came to her mind.

Fine. I will.

I did.

He didn't answer.

He called back later.

He is so low.  So pathetic.  So frustrating.  I told him about the leg.  I asked him about his address, told him that we remembered it was his birthday and would be sending something. 

I went on with my evening.

We went to the football banquet.  Our Varsity Football coach announced to the players after the banquet that he is retiring after 32 years of being our head coach.

James texted HSSH to tell him this.

HSSH called James.  They had a conversation, mainly about the leg.

If I had not called HSSH earlier that day, what would have happened?  How angry would he have been?

I feel like there is a reason this all happened as it did. 

Reasons I may never understand.

I prompted the kids to make HSSH cards tonight.  Three of them did.  Leah wrote Kiahna's name on hers.  The older two don't act interested. 

I told them if they want they can call him on Friday.  We will see.

I have these thoughts about this.  I hope that my kids are seeing that this respect and honor thing is important.  Important because it gives us peace and it is what God wants. 

I can do this, for the promise God gives to my kids. 

I can't say that I have been perfect, or that I have NEVER said a negative or harmful word against HSSH.  I've said some things that I had to apologize to the kids for saying.  I've also said some things that were truth, and told them that even though I feel this way about this, I am going to do this other thing, because I know it's right. Even though it is hard.

It is my hope that one day, when they are grown. When trials come, they will remember that even when it was hard, or I made mistakes, that I did what I could to make them right and to make the choices that I believed to be what God wanted me to make.  Not perfection.  Not supermom.  Not an unattainable pedestal.  But, reality.

Pam

Originally Published at You're Gonna Miss This, November 11, 2008