Who Me? “Shattered”?

A couple of days ago I read a post by a fellow divorced-single mom-walking with God through the pain, Linda…

“Mostly, it feels pretty whole. But, there are days and moments when it feels like it's been smashed into a million pieces. I trust that God knows where each of the fragments belong, and that His hands won't get all tied up in super glue. I wonder, if He, too, puts the big pieces together first, and then comes back for the detail work.”

I was moved to tears by her words, because I get it.  I feel that way sometimes too.  In fact I was feeling that way then.

Not only that, I also feel like I am this stubborn, rebellious, angry, impatient child… and as He puts the fragmented pieces of my life back together, sometimes I just look at Him with frustration, grab all my pieces in haste, look at Him with this nasty expression… you know the one…

And I want to scream!!!!!  YOU ARE TOO SLOW!!!  I DON’T THINK YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU ARE DOING!!!  THAT HURTS, DO YOU KNOW THAT!!!!!!  I DON’T LIKE THIS!!!  IT’S TAKING TOO LONG!!!  AHHHHHH!!!!!  I want to kick. Scream. Hit. Make it all about me.

Maybe that is why I have the children I do.

I have so much to learn.

So as He holds on to me, while I kick, scream, flail, and would fall out of the grocery cart if not for His hands gently holding on to me.  All the while thinking that what I am so upset about is so huge, He sees the bigger picture.  He had control all the time.  All I could see is that I wanted to be out of the grocery cart, or maybe that was Kiahna at Wal-Mart last week, I am so confused now.

“ for he knows how we are formed,
       he remembers that we are dust.”

--Psalm 103:14

Pam

Originally Published at You're Gonna Miss This