An Opportunity

Tonight was the last night of our Beth Moore Bible Study Stepping Up.  We were told ahead of time that we would be given the opportunity to share what God has done for us this summer at the end of the evening.

Progress for me is that I have come to terms with the idea that when given the opportunity to share what God has done for me, I need to take it.  So, I didn’t sit there wringing my hands and arguing with God over why I couldn’t possibly stand before a group of women and speak this time.  I still shook profusely and cried.  But, I didn’t hesitate.

When we began the study I wrote a little about it, It was talking about taking that next step with God.  Some quotes from Beth in that first video were,

“This will become for us the next step to where God is taking us”

“What we are going through we’re not staying in.”

“Our circumstances will feel a whole lot better when we get it through our head we are not staying here.”

“We are just movin’ up!”  (WITH TEXAS ACCENT!)

“By the time we’re done we’re gonna move up to the next stage with God”

Oh, how I long for that.  To be out of these circumstances.  To feel happy. To feel Joy.  Not fleetingly.  But “normally”.  Not once in a while. But most of the time.  Not living in a place that has me stuck in what isn’t.  But, moving forward to what is to come.  I had no idea how to get there.  But, I sure wanted to go.

Today, tonight, I realized how far God has brought me, even in these last 6 weeks of Bible Study.  And in sharing on this blog.  Processing things.  Moving forward.  Letting what I have experienced help someone else, maybe, because I was bold enough to share it.

As Beth finished up the study tonight, she said these things.

“We watch what someone else goes through and we think, ‘I could never do that’”

“We don’t understand the grace of God.”

“When the time comes the strength will be there.”

“There will be a fresh anointing.”

“If He calls on us, the strength will be there.”

I can’t tell you the countless times I have been told that I am strong.  And that what I am going through, how I responded, how I am surviving, they could never do. 

The fact is “I” can’t do it either.  I can’t do what I have done.  I can’t live through what I have lived through.  I can’t have joy again.  I can’t laugh again.  I can’t live again.  I can’t.  Not on my own.

The grace of God is where it comes from.  Plain, simple, misunderstood Grace. 

Beth ended the study with a song…

Today, Jadon was talking about people he could marry.  And people I could marry.  It is a kick he is on.  He talks about it a lot.  I was only half (or less) listening to him ramble on.  And then suddenly he said, "Could you marry Jesus, mommy?"

Um... 4 year old... theology... bride of Christ... I guess son.  I guess I kind of could.

My flesh says, No.  I don't want "just Jesus". 

Tonight, like Beth had a window into my living room, she said. 

"Jesus is the One that every broken road I have ever been on led to.  I have one Savior.  As much as I love my husband it is not him."

After I shared what this study has meant to me with these ladies, they gathered around me to pray.  One even washed my feet.  How humbling, how amazing, how encouraging.

God You are too good.  I am so glad You are my husband.

For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.   Isaiah 54:5

Pam

Originally Published on You're Gonna Miss This, July 21, 2008