God & Beef Stew

Things have been going well.  Very well.  I am feeling blessed.  It is good.  But, I’ve found myself afraid to say much.  You know?  As soon as you say something then something happens and ruins it all… so I’ve been kinda sitting back holding my breath… wondering. waiting.

Last week I had a wonderful time with a friend & counselor.  We talked, had coffee, cried, prayed… processed… & mostly my heart just felt like it wanted to burst with the love I have for my God & my Jesus & the Holy Spirit… because He is more than I ever dreamed He would be.

I never believed that I could feel joy again, let alone joy like I have never felt before.  Not unless everything I was praying for happened.  Then I’d feel joy.

Many times I have heard that God wanted me to feel joy now.  Before my prayers were answered.  I didn’t see how.  I couldn’t wrap my small brain around it all.  Many times people have prayed.  God heard.

Last week it really hit me.  Many ways really.  After the meeting with my friend, there was an opportunity to make some food (again) for the football team.

This time it is for a smaller group, 25-30 players as they watch game tape.  It doesn’t have to be much, they say.  I decided that I wanted to make beef stew.

CRAZY!

I thought, “NO! That is too hard.  That will overwhelm you.  You can’t do that.  You don’t have to do that.  No one is asking you to do that.  Don’t do that.”

But, what I realized is that I wanted to do it.  I realized that it feels SO good to actually be able to do something that I am finding pure joy in making beef stew for 25-30 football players!

CRAZY!

Live out 4 or more years in paralyzing fear, anger, worry,frustration, and pain… finally feel joy again… without your prayers being answered… then you will understand.  Or at least try to understand.  I don't think it’s understandable by our brains.

I don’t understand.

I’ve decided to run with it.  I am making beef stew today.  Lots of beef stew.  And these boys have no idea how much my heart is rejoicing that I am able to make it.  No idea… I have tears in my eyes right now because I am able to make beef stew!! 

God, You make me laugh!

Pam

Originally published at You're Gonna Miss This