Especially Today.

1086 days ago today.  It was an average day.  Home Schooling 4 kids.  Dealing with 3 preschoolers.  When HSSH left for work, I remember being worried about him.  But, he was shutting me out, so there was only prayer.

I have made it my choice today to focus on all of the good of the past 1086 days.

The World Book Encyclopedia says this about remembering…”Memory is a vital part of the learning process.  Without it, learning would be impossible.  If your brain recorded nothing from the past, you would be unable to learn anything new.  All your experiences would be lost as soon as they ended.”

There are many things in my memory of the past 3 years that are negative.  Hurtful.  Horrid.  Devastating.  Unbelievable. 

Trust me when I say that these would be much simpler to focus on than the good.

Our human nature is to be negative.

So, that is why I call it a choice.

“This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live”  Deut. 30:19

The counselor I went to when this all first happened, asked me if I knew what satan’s favorite game was?

I didn’t.  All I knew was that I wasn't enjoying being his pawn. 

Dominoes.

It was satan's plan to take my family and destroy each of our lives.

But, what would happen if, I, the second domino, removed myself from this plan?  What if I made choices NOT to cooperate with satan's plan.  What if I made different choices?  What if I choose life?

"...so that you and your children may live?"

If I'd have known how hard it was going to be I am not sure I would have chosen it.  But, then again, How could I not have?

Dear Jesus, You have brought me 1086 days into this wilderness... It  has not been fun.  It has not been easy.  It is not over.  But, YOU oh GOD are FAITHFUL.  YOU will be with me to the end.  YOU say to keep going.  Don't stop.  YOU say that I can do all things through YOU who gives me strength.  YOU say that YOU can bring beauty from these ashes.  YOU say that YOU will give me mercy every morning.  YOU say that YOU are the ABBA FATHER.  That YOUR grace is enough.  That YOU do not forget us or forsake us.  That in my weakness YOU are the most strong. 

I say, AMEN.  AMEN.  AMEN.  AMEN. 

I used to only believe it by faith.  Now I believe it because I am living it out.  One day after another.  And HE is faithful.  He is faithful.  He is faithful.

Today I bring GLORY, HONOR, AND PRAISE to the ONE who carries me.  In nail scarred hands that died so that I might have this choice of life.

THANK YOU.

I LOVE YOU.

I WORSHIP YOU.

"But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen."  2 Tim. 4:17-18

Pam

Originally Published at You're Gonna Miss This, September 16, 2008