Laying it on the altar

I could not count the number of times I have said this phrase in the past 3 and a half years.  Add to that the number of times others have said it to me.  Many times.

What does it mean?

“Laying it on the altar”?

In the Old Testament you will recall they sacrificed offerings to God on altars.  This is how God was worshipped. This is what God asked of them in that pre-Christ time.

Why would anyone be suggesting that to me today?

It’s surely not a matter of me getting some wood, fire & stone and offering a lamb to God.  No.  That’s not it.

So, what?

There is one particular part of the Bible that talks about Abraham & his son Isaac.  And in this passage, God tells Abraham to go up on this mountain and offer up his only son Isaac to Him as a sacrifice.  Kill his only son.  This son that God had told him HE would make into a great nation.  This son that God had given to him and Sarah in their old age.  That son.

The Bible doesn’t give us the idea that Abraham questioned God on this.  It appears that Abraham heard from God, and he did what God asked.

Assuming Abraham is just as human as you and I, I have to believe, while he may not have verbally said it, his mind had to have been racing with questions.  He had to have been wondering what would happen and how God was going to pull this off.  He had to.  He was human.  Not perfect.  Not a saint.  Just a human.

Like me.

“After all this, God tested Abraham. God said, "Abraham!"
"Yes?" answered Abraham. "I'm listening."

He said, "Take your dear son Isaac whom you love and go to the land of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains that I'll point out to you."  Abraham got up early in the morning and saddled his donkey. He took two of his young servants and his son Isaac. He had split wood for the burnt offering. He set out for the place God had directed him. On the third day he looked up and saw the place in the distance. Abraham told his two young servants, "Stay here with the donkey. The boy and I are going over there to worship; then we'll come back to you."

Genesis 22:1-5 (Msg)

The passage continues with Abraham obeying, getting to the top of the mountain, raising the knife, and then…

They arrived at the place to which God had directed him. Abraham built an altar. He laid out the wood. Then he tied up Isaac and laid him on the wood. Abraham reached out and took the knife to kill his son.

Just then an angel of God called to him out of Heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!"

"Yes, I'm listening."

"Don't lay a hand on that boy! Don't touch him! Now I know how fearlessly you fear God; you didn't hesitate to place your son, your dear son, on the altar for me."

Abraham looked up. He saw a ram caught by its horns in the thicket. Abraham took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son.

Abraham named that place God-Yireh (God-Sees-to-It). That's where we get the saying, "On the mountain of God, he sees to it."

The angel of God spoke from Heaven a second time to Abraham: "I swear—God's sure word!—because you have gone through with this, and have not refused to give me your son, your dear, dear son, I'll bless you—oh, how I'll bless you! And I'll make sure that your children flourish—like stars in the sky! like sand on the beaches! And your descendants will defeat their enemies. All nations on Earth will find themselves blessed through your descendants because you obeyed me."

As I understand it, we do this today when God is asking us to lay down something very precious to us.  Something we love very much. Something God has given us, and we felt was ours to keep.  And He is asking us if we are willing to give it all up for Him.

That’s how I understand it.

In my mind, I’ve been trying to do this.  I know it is the right thing to do.  So over and over again, I will lay down bits and pieces of things dear to me. Mostly my hurt. Trying to give God my marriage, but having a hard time seeing how I give it up and believe for a miracle at the same time.  Laying it down. Letting Him have it. Offering it as a sacrificial offering to Him.

I’ve said it.  I’ve done it.  I’ve said it.  I’ve totally struggled with understanding it.

Last week I was on the mower (a great place to think), and I was thinking about this whole concept.  The promise I believe God has given me for restoration of my family.  The desire I have in my heart for that to look not just as a restoration of a father back to his children, & his God.  But back to me.  Back as my husband. 

I saw myself over the past 4 years dragging the sacrifice up and down this hill.  laying it on the altar and then pulling it off again.  Up and down.  Up and down.  Up and down.

It’s been exhausting.

Then I thought.  Have I ever really, really raised the knife to this thing?  I mean, I’ve laid it up there and then I’ve snatched it back off (unaware most of the time) and drug it around. Tried to prop it up and make it look like a living thing.  But, have I ever raised the knife?

I haven’t.

In my mind I have totally struggled with being able to separate the death of this on the altar and giving up on God’s ability to do what He said He can do.  It just felt like giving up to let the thing die out… it’s too much for my brain to grasp…

And God’s saying, “You don’t have to grasp it, Just let Me do it.”

I saw myself in my mind, standing over the promises.  Standing over my marriage.  Standing over my dreams.  My hopes.  My pain.  My struggles.  My vision.  Holding this knife.  And looking around for God to “provide a lamb”.

I couldn’t plunge that knife that day.  I had to wait and see if a lamb showed up in the bushes.

The next day, still struggling with all the thoughts… I get another moment of silence.  I remember myself still standing with the knife in the air… and I tell myself, It’s time.  Your lamb is not coming. You must kill it. 

And I physically raise my arms and bring them down in the motion of lowering a knife into some unseen sacrifice.

Then I see myself, turning, leaving the sacrifice on the altar and walking away.  Tears streaming.  It’s dead.

I have no desire to go back and get it.  But, I know myself well enough to know I might try.  And I might find myself dragging the dirty, smelly, dead thing around again.  Trying in my own human strength to make it look alive.  I don't want to, but I know I am very capable of it.

I know that God is the only one who is capable of giving me the strength to leave it there.  He is the only one who is going to be able to bring life to where there is no life.  He is it.

I found this verse to be quite interesting…

“By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him, "It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned." Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead, and figuratively speaking, he did receive Isaac back from death.”

Hebrews 11:17-19

In my mind, I reason… God can raise the dead.  I believe that.  I have that faith.  I do.

Pam